


Positive Reinforcement

by agentsimmons



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Spoilers, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Feels, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Depression, Dysfunctional Relationships, Fear, Fix-It, Inspired By Tumblr, Light Master/Pet, M/M, Mentions of Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Mentions of Pepper Potts/Tony Stark - Freeform, POV Bruce Banner, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Past Violence, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Iron Man 3, Psychological Drama, Psychological Torture, Science Boyfriends, Science Bros, Time Skips, Tony Has Issues, fluff angst more angst fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-02 22:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4076872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentsimmons/pseuds/agentsimmons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce has a bad habit of suspecting he's Tony's pet, something being trained and kept on a leash. </p><p>Inspired by the "how to train your Hulk" and "positive reinforcement via blueberry" jokes and posts on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sit

Waking up from an incident was always much different than waking up from natural sleep. It was like awaking from a vacuum, absolute nothingness. He wasn't sure what sleeping death felt like, but he had a feeling this was it. There would be darkness, utter darkness, and then sudden, piercing consciousness - light, sound, feeling, all raking at his body and mind at once with overwhelming strength while another part of him fought to just go back to sleep and stay there. Bleary eyes, spinning head, echoes of the world around him, aching muscles, memories of who he is and the monstrosity that causes it all, these were all symptoms of waking up after an incident.

"Are you back?"

The voice echoed and vibrated and Bruce wondered at its familiarity, but couldn't quite connect the dots. He slowly opened his eyes, wincing at the brightness and closing them again. Where was he? Who was he? How did he get here? Hulk. Hulk!

Bruce startled upwards from where he lay and looked around, ignoring his pounding headache and thrashed muscles as he often did. Whose voice had he heard? He knew it was somebody... It was... 

"Stark?" Bruce asked in confusion and strained his neck to look further around him.

"Or Tony. You can call me whatever. Apparently Hulk has decided to dub me Tin Man. Are you particularly fond of _The Wizard of Oz_ or something?" Tony moved to stand in front of him, looking down, and Bruce squinted his eyes to focus on the eccentric billionaire, the brightness of the sky above him encapsulating him.

"Too many damn words," Bruce grunted.

It was always like this when someone happened across him shortly after an incident, though it wasn't often (really it had been less than a handful of times). They would talk to him at a natural pace with a fairly average vocabulary while he struggled to process what they were saying let alone come up with his own words to respond. That was maybe the worst part: the cognitive delay between the Other Guy's limited IQ and his nearly unlimited one. He hated waiting for his brain to catch up to something that should be first nature to him. But Tony had an unusual speech pattern, a lighting fast pace, an almost attention-deficit way of moving from one idea to the next. Tony's speaking was more than he could handle.

"Talking too fast for you?" Tony seemed to get the message. He slowed his speech, but even in his current state of mind, Bruce was quickly aware of how much of a struggle it seemed to be for the other man to do so. "Is that how it goes? Is it some kind of cognitive delay?" Bruce waited for the words to filter through his brain and make the necessary click. He then nodded. Of course Tony would figure it out immediately. He was a genius after all. "That must suck. But I kind of get that way too in the morning, before coffee. Or when I haven't slept for a couple days. Braindumb. Not a fun feeling." He was talking too fast again.

"Where am I?" Bruce ignored just about everything Tony had said. If the man insisted on talking, he could at least hopefully supply answers.

"Uh..." Tony looked around. "Looks like you're chilling outside a destroyed bank. Wait, are you a looter? Were you trying to loot this bank? Because you should know I've got enough money for the both of us and I don't think the Other Guy would enjoy prison."

Thank God his mental faculties were beginning to return to normal or else this would get old fast. He glared up at Tony with what little energy he had and then pressed on for more answers. "So, we won?"

"That seems to be the general consensus. The rest of the gang is currently escorting Loki back to HQ. I came to find you because you wandered off while my back was turn."

Bruce didn't feel like parsing the implications of that latter statement right now. "Did I hurt anybody?"

"Uh, yeah, Loki. Banged him up pretty good. You kind of redecorated my penthouse when you did, but I'm not complaining. It's a nice souvenir."

"Is it possible for you to answer a question straight?" Bruce looked at him with returning sharpness, quirking his eyebrow slightly.

"And he's back," Tony said with a smile. "But to answer your question, Doctor, there's nothing inherently straight about me so no, not really."

Bruce raised both brows at this. "Nothing straight at all?"

"Okay, you got me. My teeth are straight. But they're also a plate because I busted them during an experiment I was conducting when I was thirteen so, again, not inherently straight. So, now you know."

"I'll keep that in mind," Bruce indulged him. 

"I hope you do," Tony remarked and Bruce wondered for a moment when exactly bantering had become a thing between them. Was it the night before on the helicarrier? Or was it right here and now like some bizarre origin story (a ridiculous notion because you have to have further stories to constitute the need for an origin story and he would be leaving soon with no intention of looking back)? "By the way, you are very naked."

Bruce's eyes widened. "Shit," he muttered and looked around for any remaining scraps of his pants.

"I have half a mind to think you're actively trying to involve me in your criminal lifestyle, Doctor," Tony said with a laugh, moving back to where he'd been before Bruce had woken up and returning with a shirt, a pair of pants, and some sandals. "I looted an abandoned clothing store a block from here when I realized that you were sporting the au natural look. I'm a bit surprised I hadn't put that possibility together and brought clothes with me from the get-go. I left the store a generous donation for their trouble. You're welcome."

Bruce rolled his eyes slightly, although he was grateful. "I'm pretty sure if you leave money it's not actually considered looting, Tony. But thanks." He quickly shuffled on the clothes, struggling to stand to his feet so he could pull up the pants. He managed it, but not without a good deal of pain. He felt bruised all over in ways he hadn't felt for a long time. More than one transformation in the same day was brutal on his body. It was a rare occurrence. 

"You look pretty beat," Tony observed his discomfort.

Bruce snorted as he zipped up and slipped on the sandals. "It feels worse."

"Sit."

Bruce looked at the other man in genuine confusion. "What?"

"You heard me. Sit. As in, sit down. Right now. In case you haven't noticed, there aren't really any taxis out and about at the moment due to clean up. And we're meeting up with the gang for celebratory shawarma about ten blocks from here in a little bit. You're clearly not in any condition to make that kind of trek just yet."

Bruce could barely process what Tony was saying and not for lack of his mental faculties. Was Tony actually ordering him to sit back down and rest? Was that actually a look of concern on his face? He wasn't sure if he appreciated the sentiment or not. He wasn't sure about anything when it came to Tony Stark if he were being honest.

"Look, thanks for the concern," he decided to appreciate it. "But I've been through this before. It hurts, yeah, but I can manage. You get used to it when sticking around in one spot isn't a luxury you can afford."

"Well now you've got me and it's a luxury I _can_ afford. So allow me to buy you a seat, Dr. Banner." Tony gestured to the ground and then lowered himself to the uneven and busted pavement."Sit."

Bruce resisted the small urge to roll his eyes. He knew Tony meant well. For some bizarre reason that not even _his_ brilliant mind could compute, the other man seemed to have taken an interest in him as a person, rather than just as a monster. And now here he was offering his company in the middle of post-battle debris like it was just as casual as two friends sitting on a park bench. So Bruce shrugged his shoulders slightly and sat back down.

"Happy?" he asked sardonically.

"Good boy," Tony answered with a smirk.

"What?!" The question escaped like a quick puff of air, nearly a laugh. He gave Tony an amused look. Confused, but amused. "Did you really just... I'm not a dog, Tony."

"I don't know." Tony was all joking and Bruce realized he actually couldn't wait to hear what he'd come up with this time. "You might be part dog. You're by far the hairiest man I've ever seen. I can totally rub your belly if that would help you relax. You look like you need to relax."

Not at all the punchline he had been expecting, but maybe that was to be expected. Tony was nothing if not unpredictable as far as he had seen.

"Pass. But you've seen a lot of men, have you?" Bruce countered with just enough lilt to his tone.

Tony shrugged, palms up, and quirked his face in melodramatic guilt. "Not inherently straight."

"Huh," Bruce said with a small, contemplative nod, followed by a thin, almost playful, smile. "I'll keep that in mind."

 


	2. Stay

He had been a resident of Stark Tower for three months, give or take a few days. It was the longest he'd stayed in one place in years. He hadn't counted on it. He hadn't counted on moving in. He hadn't counted on working in a lab again. He hadn't counted on taking his chances in a densely populated area where he might be a threat. He hadn't counted on Tony.

Somehow the man had worn him down. Tony's interest in him had been too infectious to ignore. He was tired of running and the idea of working with Tony was genuinely intriguing - he had missed scientific inquiry so much - so he had figured it couldn't hurt to indulge the genius billionaire for a little while and then make his exit once the time was right. But the time never seemed right. There was a whisper in the back of his mind to stop stalling, but it was easy to squash whenever Tony was around. And Tony was always around.

So it was a dangerous notion to send him away. However, that's exactly what Bruce needed to do. Tony needed to get away from New York for a while. He needed to get away from his endless plans for the future of The Avengers, which included slowly remodeling the tower to act as a headquarters for the still unofficial superhero team. He needed to get away from anything that reminded him of the day he almost died. 

Tony rarely acknowledged it, but Bruce knew about the nightmares. He knew about the longer-than-usual gaps between sleep cycles. He could practically feel the tension bubbling just beneath Tony's skin and, if he were being honest, it had him a little on edge as well. He was worried for his friend, but also worried about what kind of chemical reaction that might lead to. Tony was slowly degressing into a different man, not the same confident man who could strut around the person keeping a rage monster at bay by sheer willpower. Bruce worried that there might come a point when he wouldn't be able to handle this shell of Tony Stark because of his own issues. Tony needed help. He needed a change of scenery. He needed to handle this.

Which is why, no matter how sending Tony away might affect him, Bruce had to do it. He looked at the man working on yet another Iron Man suit, as if creating some army, and felt the lurch in his stomach. He didn't want to lose him, but he already _was_ losing him in a way that would surely hurt worse in the long run. So he decided it was time to finally rip off the Bandaid.

"Is this Mark 26?" Bruce asked casually as he approached the zombified engineer, trying hard not to focus on the evidence of his lack of sleep.

"Hey, buddy," Tony greeted first. "Uh, nope, 27 actually. Finished 26 yesterday. I know, I know. Probably didn't need to get started on 27 so quickly, but I had a pretty good idea hit me and decided why not."

" _Right._ " Bruce didn't hide his skepticism. There was no use sugarcoating it if he was only going to turn around and be blunt with Tony.

"Are you questioning my methods?" Tony hadn't missed his tone. 

"More like questioning the last time you got any sleep." Tony flinched and Bruce's heart sank in his chest. Had anyone told him three months prior that he would be standing in a lab with _the_ Tony Stark and worrying about the man's well being as if he'd known him and cared about him for years, the laughter would have been unending. "We've been through this, Tony. You need to make yourself use the sleep timer. You don't have to sleep long enough to get to REM, but you have to sleep. A little at a time, remember?"

Tony sighed bitterly. "It's never going to be enough, Bruce. And this way's just easier. If I exhaust myself I can just black out."

"I don't think that's going to work much longer, Tony," Bruce warned. He'd been keeping tabs of Tony's episodes and sleep cycles without Tony's knowledge. The strain on his body was increasing. The breakdown was inevitable. "The longer you keep up with that pattern, the harder it's going to be for your body to respond the way you want it to. The last time you blacked out, you hit REM faster than you should have and it was one of your more violent spells. I'm a little worried you're heading for a harder crash if you keep this up. You need consistent rest. You need to give your body a break."

"Usually I'd appreciate your sexy medical talk," Bruce heard the slight banter in Tony's comment, but even that was just a fading shadow these days, "but I've got to do this my own way. I can't talk about it. I can't will myself to fall asleep on my own anymore. I can't do anything, but... This." He gestured to the suit he was working on. "I can still do this."

"You can also go home." There. It was out in the open now. And it was clear by the look on Tony's face that he didn't understand the comment. "I think you should go home now, Tony," Bruce reiterated.

"Uh..." Tony scrunched his face and looked around. This was one of those braindumb moments he'd mentioned when the two had first started to get to know each other. "I'm... I'm pretty certain I am home? This is technically my place?"

"I mean Malibu," Bruce explained further, but trying to tear at the edges of the Bandaid perhaps a little bit more gently than he should now that he'd begun the process. 

"Are you filing for a divorce, Doctor?" Tony tilted his head and it was all Bruce could do not to lose his will because for a brief, shining moment Tony Stark was being Tony Stark and it was easy to forget everything else.

"More like suggesting a trial separation," Bruce quipped in return. He had to indulge in the banter. He might never get another chance. "Look, you clearly need to get away from New York for a while and clear your head. Maybe things are triggering you here and you don't even realize it. I think you need to get back to your actual home for a little bit and settle this your own way like you suggested. I wish you would talk to a doctor, of course. But at the very least I think you need to get away from here. Get back to Pepper. Get back to Happy and Rhodey."

Tony was unusually quiet. He looked at the wrench in his hand like it was a puzzle. He then looked up at Bruce with a furrowed brow and Bruce felt as though the man was studying him, searching him inside out for something in particular. 

"I-" He started, but then let out a deep breath before continuing. "I can't do that. I don't... I don't want to do that. I'm needed here."

"Tony, you're not needed here. Your general contractor can finish the tower without you. You're barely involved as it is now that everything's been planned out. Your R&D team will be perfectly fine too. You don't even give them a second thought on a normal day. Stark Tower is a well oiled machine."

"Eager to get rid of me, Bruce?" Tony asked, trying for nonchalant, but failing as he began tinkering with the suit again.

Oh. So that's what this was about. Tony had made it pretty clear, whether he'd meant to or not, that he was afraid of Bruce leaving with no warning. Whenever Bruce got even the slightest touch of ingrained wanderlust, Tony seemed to know and was quick to appease it. He didn't resent him for it most of the time because it wasn't like he enjoyed running away. He didn't enjoy the idea of leaving a place that finally felt safe or a person who finally felt like, well, home - no matter how damning that confession might be if he allowed himself to analyze it - for no other reason than because running away had become an instinctive measure of self-preservation that kicked in even when he didn't need it or want it to. But there were other times he did resent it. There were days when the growl in the back of his mind was too strong and the discomfort of not knowing how this all might end up for him too overwhelming. The little red flags of self-preservation would turn into blaring sirens in his mind, warning him to get the hell out of Dodge before he could hurt Tony or Tony could hurt him. And on those days he resented Tony for not understanding and for trying to keep him on a leash. 

"Straight answer, Tony, do you think I'm trying to get rid of you so I can duck out?" Bruce had learned that he needed to be firm with Tony when there was need for a straightforward answer with no detours into the realm of snark and random tangents.

"Aren't you?" Tony had also figured out many loopholes to Bruce's demanding a straightforward answer from him and deflecting with a question was one of those loopholes.

"No." Bruce had figured out Tony's many loopholes and typically countered with the appropriate response. Ironically, it usually consisted of a straightforward answer of his own.

"No?"

"This isn't about me wanting to get rid of you, Tony. This is about me wanting you to be okay. You're not okay here and, honestly, the more not okay you become the less okay I might become."

"I know I haven't slept in 26 hours, but that sentence made no sense," Tony said, throwing down his wrench and standing up to stretch.

"What I'm saying is I can't help you, Tony. I want to, honest. If I could, I wouldn't even be suggesting this. I'd leave it up to you when you want to come and go. But, Tony, you need the company of people who are not already tiptoeing around the edge of insanity themselves. One of these days you're going to have an episode and I can't guarantee that I won't just freak out and make it worse. I don't like seeing you like this and I think the Other Guy is starting to get worried about Tin Man too. If not for your health, you need to leave for your own safety."

Bruce waited for Tony to process his speech. He understood the irony of the situation keenly as the silence hung around them. Tony was afraid he might run and under normal circumstances just the hint of being a threat to Tony's safety, like he inevitably would be if Tony continued down this path, would be grounds for cutting his losses and getting away from the billionaire. But in this case it was Tony that needed to run. Because if Tony ran to others who could take care of him better, then it would be easier on Bruce's conscience than if he left Tony to the despair of being run out on while estranged from the other people he cared about.

"Can you promise me you'll still be here when I come back?"

Tony's question gutted him. He knew the risk of letting Tony go. He knew the risk of being alone again, with no safety nets around him should the itch return or should the Hulk get uneasy for some reason or another. 

"I... I can't promise that, no," Bruce answered. He had to be honest with him. "There's just no way of knowing what might happen between now and then, Tony. I could try, but anything could happen. It's always been a crapshoot and you know it. I've told you that from the start. If something happens, I might run. I might _have_ to run," he emphasized this part, knowing that Tony knew what he meant. There were too many unknown variables, anything from Hulk getting spooked to General Ross deciding he felt like being a pain in the ass that day.

"Then I can't go," Tony said matter-of-factly and turned back to the unfinished pieces of armor that were resting on a nearby workbench.

Without warning, the sirens blared in Bruce's mind and there was a distinct growl somewhere deep inside him. Tony was being a damn fool, ignoring his health and safety, and the Hulk didn't seem to like it any more than he did. All because Tony didn't want him running away while he was off busy taking care of himself? All because he needed to be there to keep a close eye on him? It felt like a fucking stranglehold. Did Tony even realize what he was doing? He wasn't some dog on a leash and yet it felt like there was a constant yanking at his neck, a harsh reminder not to walk ahead too quickly or get any ideas of pulling hard enough to break free from his master's hand.  

"What the hell is this, Tony?" Bruce snapped and Tony turned back to him quickly. It was time for the Bandaid to come off with a cruel rip now. "Why is it so important that I stick around, huh? Why did you invite me here in the first place? And what have I even done since being here that makes you think I'm some priceless entity that Stark Industries can't part with?"

"Bruce, buddy, you've got this all wrong." Tony held up his hands, trying to reason with him, but Bruce wasn't finished. The sirens were still blaring. The Bandaid wasn't off yet.

"What is this about? Am I just your pet project? Are you just trying to add 'man who tamed the Hulk' to your list of accomplishments? You're a self-proclaimed philanthropist. Is that what this is? Philanthropy? Dammit, Tony, just be straight with me."

He took several breaths, willing his heart rate back down. The Other Guy had seemingly learned early on that sometimes fights like this with Tony were inevitable, but they liked Tony and Tony liked them so there was no need for immediate alarm. So the grumble in the back of his mind was only slight, as if waiting to see where it would go from here or as if waiting to give Tony a chance to fend for himself.

"Geez, Bruce, I've been straight with you from the very beginning. I. Want. You." Bruce blinked a few times and decided it might be best to let Tony clarify that point. "I want you here. And by here I mean near enough that we can continue to be friends because like it or not I want to be your friend, Banner. And I want you working for my company because, god, you're brilliant. You're more brilliant than just about anyone else I've ever had on staff. And I want you to be happy and I want you to have a normal facsimile of life again and I want you to get over this learned behavior of running away and thinking you're the scum of the Earth because of things that should have never happened to you.

Hell, you want a straight answer? There are even days I want _you!_ All of you because you're so fucking irresistible that I have to remind myself how much I care about Pepper and could never hurt her like that, all the while wondering if I would even immediately regret it." Tony gestured to Bruce before letting his hand fall to his leg with a hard slap. His other hand came up to his forehead as it fell in a defeated expression.

There was silence between them for a long moment. The grumble had settled and the sirens had gone dead. Bruce could only swallow hard at the weighty confession and will himself not to think about it. Not now. Now was not the time. There would probably never be a good time, but definitely _not now_. 

"This isn't philanthropy," Tony continued with a hard sigh. "This is me wanting something that isn't just there for the taking. That's not really a concept I'm familiar with, you know? So if you got the impression I was restraining you or keeping you here against your will, it's just because I'm not good with long distance relationships - ask Rhodey and Pepper - and if you run off to Timbuktu with no way of me knowing if you're safe or if you're ever coming back, I'm not sure I could handle it. But... I know that's not an excuse. If you don't want to be here, then leave. If you need to run, I won't stop you this time. If you feel like I'm keeping you under glass or something, then I don't want that. So just... Do whatever you want."

Bruce waited for several silent moments to pass to ensure Tony was done and ready to listen. "The only thing I want right now is what's best for you, Tony. And that means _you_ leaving, not me. I know I probably haven't made it very clear, but I don't want to lose whatever this is," he gestured between them and then around the lab, "any more than you do. I like this a lot. I wouldn't still be here if I didn't. But right now this is toxic for you and if you don't get help, we might as well call it done now because I'm already losing you, Tony. It's downhill from here."

"You're right," Tony conceded and Bruce fought down a sigh of relief for fear of offending him. "I've probably been away from home too long. I do miss Pepper and Happy. Don't see them enough when I'm here. And I guess maybe I've been working too hard on the initiative. Should take a step back. But only a step," he added quickly. "Because I'm gonna nip this post trauma nonsense in the bud and then come right back once I do."

"I never assumed you wouldn't. Avengers Tower can't launch without you after all." Bruce offered him a small smile. He wanted him to know he had at least a little hope that things could turn around and that Tony could figure this thing out.

"Or you," Tony added sincerely. "I know you can't promise anything and I mean it that you're free to do whatever you want. But I do hope that, you know, barring some kind of emergency, you'll still be here when I get back. I really want you to still be here, Bruce. Stay."

Tony's request was devoid of any of the harsh demanding that Bruce had felt moments earlier and Bruce was certain that Tony understood his own response, no matter how earnest, wasn't infallible.

"I'll stay."

So he stayed. Even when the unexpected news rippled through Stark Tower that its namesake had met his end at the hand of the Mandarin, he didn't run. He _couldn't_ run. He discovered that his sorrow really could be stronger than his rage. He learned that even the Other Guy could get low, so low that he didn't even want to come out and smash his feelings away. And as he spent the few days spanning Tony Stark's presumed death locked away in his tower suite, miserable and broken and obedient of the billionaire's final request that he stay, Bruce realized he stayed because he had loved Tony.


	3. Roll Over

_That's it? You just roll over and show your belly every time somebody snarls?_

Tony's voice was on an endless loop in his mind and it was driving him mad. He was so mad that he wasn't sure that going with the team to track down Ultron in Africa was a very good idea. A Code Green was imminent, he could feel it in his bones, and he wasn't quite sure he had enough control over that kind of situation at the moment. He was a little afraid that his anger at Tony right now might seep into Hulk's subconscious later. No matter how angry he was at Tony, he couldn't risk that. 

"I think I should sit this one out," Bruce semi-whispered, his tone vulnerable even to his own ears, as he found Tony suiting up in his armory lab. 

Tony turned to him with a confused grimace. "What are you talking about? We might need you."

"That's kind of why I don't think I should go," Bruce replied a little more loudly. He could tell already this conversation wasn't going to be easy. "Look, I'm... Really upset right now. I'm just not sure that's a stable additive in a situation like this. If I get too close to the edge, the Other Guy might make an appearance whether we want him to or not and who knows how he'll be. Or if I Code Green and I'm still angry at you, I might-"

Bruce's eyes widened in horror. He hadn't meant to be anything other than ambiguous about the situation. Now Tony knew the real reason for his current mood and was staring hard at him.

"Angry at _me_?" Tony finally spoke. "I know I've done some pretty stupid things the past few days, but what the hell, Bruce? What did I do to piss you off specifically?"

"What did you do?" Bruce laughed sardonically. "What did you _do_? When are you not doing things, Tony?" Suddenly there were sirens blaring in his head. "But sometimes you're an absolute asshole, you know that? And you act like I should just take it in stride. Bruce Banner better not roll over and show his belly, _oh no_. Not unless Tony wants him too. 'That's it, good boy, Bruce. Help me create a murderbot. Help me convince the others this isn't the worst thing that could possibly be happening. That's right, just sit there and take it when I get good and angry at your disobedience.' I'm rolling over all the time for you, Stark. So what, you can't handle it when you're not the one giving the command?"

Tony's nostrils flared. Bruce knew there had been some kind of tension building between them for months. Tony had seemingly gotten over his previous trauma and there had been a period of normalcy, Bruce settling back into the role of friend and lab partner while keeping his feelings for the billionaire in check - even attempting to look elsewhere and prove to himself that what he felt for Tony was nothing more than chemical attraction fostered by a nice, platonic bond that he hadn't had before. But then Tony had begun to spiral again. The changed man mantra started fraying around the edges.

Bruce had watched it all, not certain if Tony realized what was happening. The gradually increasing periods of time away from Pepper. The slow build up of another Iron Legion after promising to scale back. The increased protector instinct. The seemingly deadening feelings towards the team, perhaps a defense mechanism to keep himself from getting too close, beyond some kind of instinct to be there even if he secretly despised what his life had become. 

Bruce had to watch it all, not knowing when Tony might crack or when their points of view might finally clash as they were bound to do. Ultron? A shield around the world? Tony had gone off on that tangent several times in the past several months. Bruce wasn't against the idea by any means. Preventative measures were his M.O. after all. More prevention of danger, less need for Code Greens. And he genuinely wanted to work on such a project with Tony. It wouldn't be just Tony's vision, but both of theirs. It would be something to brand them together forever and he selfishly liked that idea even if he wasn't about to throw himself at the man based on muddled feelings - he was too out of practice when it came to friendship and love both.

But whether or not Ultron was something he was okay with, he wasn't okay with the obsession. Tony was _obsessed_ with the idea. There was a nameless fear boiling just underneath his surface. Maybe it was because of what he'd gone through in Afghanistan, in New York, with the Mandarin all coming to one giant head, but whatever it was Bruce knew something was starting to eat away at Tony's confidence and there was an edge looming if nothing were to change.

Then that damn witch had to come along and push Tony over that edge. He could almost strangle her for putting that fear in Tony's eyes - there on clear display so he could finally see it for what it was. It was a devastating fear that he was all too familiar with. It was the look of a man who had seen the death of people who didn't deserve it. He knew that fear and he hated that witch for hurting Tony this deeply. 

But then Tony had to go and smack him like he was the one out of line and he got so damn sick and tired of it sometimes. 

"You're acting like I'm treating you like a pet again, Banner," Tony's harsh accusation broke through his angry thoughts. "But you can't pin that one on me. You were already an expert in rolling over long before I came along."

"Dammit, Tony. I swear-"

"Nope, not done yet," Tony cut him off. "If I monopolized on it, I can promise you it wasn't without your benefit in mind. Because rolling over to idiots who wouldn't understand scientific progress if it bit them in the ass isn't a good look, Bruce. You're smarter than that. You're better than that. And I'm not going to stand by and keep watching you play patsy to people who are infinitely beneath you."

" _Keep_ watching?" Bruce challenged. He had a feeling he knew what was coming, but that was another thing between them the past few months that maybe needed to come out into the open. 

"You know what I'm talking about. I can already see the gears in your head turning, thinking about it." No matter the tension between them, they were still pretty connected. They were on a similar wavelength. They could read each other too well. Sometimes it was a blessing, but right now Bruce couldn't deny it felt like a curse. "I'm talking about little miss maneater trying to sink her teeth into someone who deserves better."

"There you go being an asshole again, Tony. I don't think you have any right to make a judgement call on Natasha's intentions given your own past."

"Actually, I think my own experience makes me a little more qualified to make the call on these matters, but even if she has been totally swept away by you - I mean, you know I can't blame her for it - what about you? You're actually _interested_? Because I know you and I don't think you are. I think you're just rolling over because the damn woman knows how to get what she wants. You think you're _my_ pet? She'll have you on a leash and doing tricks before you even see it coming."

Bruce felt the grumble grow louder. Usually they worked it out, but this was one of the worst arguments they'd had in a long time and Hulk was starting to get more unsettled.

"You have some nerve trying to interfere in my love life, Stark. How many weeks has it been, huh? How many weeks since you've actually seen Pepper in person and not just via some hurried video call? Hmm? Want to talk about unhealthy relationships? Do you really? Because that relationship has death written all over it if you don't get your shit together and try to fix it. You want to talk about people deserving better, well look in the mirror. Because both you and Pepper deserve better than whatever the hell it is that's going on at the moment."

Tony flinched and turned away from him. Bruce screwed shut his eyes and tried to will the anger away. He knew he had just hit below the belt. It wasn't that Tony didn't have it coming for trying to dish it out to him first, but Bruce's feelings for Natasha weren't the same as Tony's feelings for Pepper. Tony was right about his not being inherently attracted to Natasha - it felt more like a 'what if' than anything else. But he also knew that Tony knew he was right about the faltering relationship between him and Pepper which was infinitely worse. It was a harsher blow because Tony and Pepper's relationship wasn't only in the early theoretical stages.

"God, Tony, I'm sorry," Bruce practically whined, part of him begging forgiveness as the sirens began to gradually go silent. "That was... I didn't..."

"Don't say you didn't mean it because we both know you did," Tony replied bitterly before he could piece together a coherent apology. "What's worse is we both know you're right. So, really, I don't think we have anything else to say on the matter. And, you know what, whatever, thank you." Bruce scrunched his face. "At least you didn't roll over when I snarled."

"Tony..."

"Now that you've gotten it out of your system, are you coming or not?" 

* * *

_Bruce looked around in confusion. He was back at Avengers Tower? On Tony's floor? When did that happen? Suddenly flashes of white light and images of his mother's lifeless body tore through his mind and he shook his head in panic._

_It was then pierced by the sound of laughter coming from somewhere nearby. Bruce focused his eyes and could see a light coming from the kitchen across the great expanse of room. He followed it curiously, though there was an uneasiness in his stomach, until he was greeted by the sight of Tony and Pepper laughing together as they prepared dinner._

_Bruce narrowed his eyes and then noticed the two children sitting at the breakfast bar. There was a young boy, maybe five, working on engineering something with the k'nex pieces laid out on the table in front of him. Then there was a slightly younger girl, maybe three, coloring to her heart's content with a skill quite adept for someone her age. He brought his hand to his face, covering his mouth. They were beautiful. They were... Tony's?_

_More flashes of white and screaming... Screaming pain as the radiation coursed through him. Betty's face flashed in his mind before suddenly Tony's voice..._

_"What are you doing here?" Bruce saw that Pepper was now standing with the children, looking at him angrily. He turned to see Tony's wary face. "I said, what are you doing here?" Tony asked again._

_"I-I... I don't understand. I'm just..." Bruce felt his chest constrict. He looked around at them all again, his eyes focusing mostly on the children. This wasn't right. These were **his** kids. These were the kids he'd imagined he and Betty would have. This definitely wasn't right. This was supposed to be **his** life._

_"I thought I told you I didn't want you around anymore." Tony's voice rattled him and he looked back at the engineer in painful confusion._

_"What? I..." He could feel Pepper's bitter glare burning through him. He could see her resentment without having to turn and face her._

_"I thought I made it perfectly clear I don't have time for cowards. That's all you are. That's all you ever were. You're not a monster. You're a coward. I. Don't. Want. You!"_

_"Tony, please, Tony, you're not making sense." Sirens were blaring all around the room. Glimpses of his mother, of Betty, of destruction, of Tony falling all flickered in and out of his mind like a red haze. He heard growling. It felt closer, more resounding than ever before._

_"You don't deserve me, Bruce. You don't deserve this life."_

_Bruce felt the stabbing realization that Tony was right. He was a monster. A monster and a coward. Run. Run away. Destroy. Smash!_

_He turned quickly on his heel and saw the beast face to face before another blinding flash of white and images of his mother's murder filled his mind. There his father was, bashing her head into the pavement. This was all too real. This was actually happening. No, no, this wasn't real. That witch-_

"Puny Banner not roll over this time!" Hulk growled at the scene in front of him, unaware of reality as he shut out Banner's insufferable screaming that it was just a dream. "Hulk save puny Lady! Hulk smash mean Man!" The Hulk began rampaging, trying to smash Brian Banner's head into the pavement. He could never seem to get to him and this enraged him further as he took out buildings all around him in real life. Suddenly, a voice interrupted his pursuit and Hulk turned in anger toward the interferer.

 _I_ _f Tin Man not care about puny Lady, Hulk smash him too!_   _Puny Banner not roll over this time!_ _Hulk not roll over for Tin Man!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to point out that nothing I have Tony say about Natasha in this chapter reflects my genuine thoughts about her.


	4. Good Boy

It had been 78 days since Hulk had intentionally crashed the quinjet into the ocean and gone off-grid.

In that time, Bruce Banner had found himself washed on shore of a Baltic Island with a very important decision to make. The Hulk had obviously run for a reason and as the memories of what had happened right before his Code Green and some broken memories of the battle flooded his mind, he thought he understood that reason. He didn't want Natasha Romanoff. He didn't want to be an Avenger. But there was something he _did_ want and admitting it had left him with a hard choice. Choosing to go after what he wanted was not familiar territory for him. 

It had taken several weeks to gather the means to get back and to maintain a low-profile as he did so - of course, if Fury  _was_ looking he couldn't really afford to care since it wouldn't change his decision. But he did finally get back. He stared up at that big, ugly building like it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and also the most terrifying. He wasn't sure what he'd find inside. Would the Avengers all be there? Would Tony?

He took a deep breath and entered the building. He awkwardly strolled to the front desk and asked if Tony Stark was in. The receptionist, a friendly young woman that had been employed there for several months, recognized him immediately. She welcomed him back, offered him the generic 'we've missed you around here' mantra as if he'd been gone for way longer than what he was, and then asked if he would like to have Mr. Stark paged once she ascertained that Tony was in his personal apartment. Bruce only flinched slightly at the mention of Tony's location and then explained that he would rather like it to be a surprise. She saw no reason not to trust him and so let him pass without further questions.

Bruce took the elevator to Tony's private floor, fiddling in his mind with all the things he wanted to say, trying to decide what he wanted to say first. Of course, with Tony, he realized it was very likely there could be no sticking to a set script. The elevator dinged and he entered the small foyer that bridged the gap between elevator and main living area. He stood there for a moment looking around the large room for any sign of Tony. Then he saw him. The other man was sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen that sat on the far opposite side of the semi-open concept apartment. He flinched again. 

Tony's back was turned and if he had heard the elevator ding, he didn't act like it. As Bruce drew closer, he saw that Tony's head was down and he seemed to be eating from a bowl of blueberries while working absentmindedly on one of his gauntlets. He seemed a world away.

"Sir..." Bruce was startled by the voice of an AI that wasn't J.A.R.V.I.S., but rather female. He immediately deduced why there was a different AI in place, but suddenly he felt a little sad. "Your Dr. Banner search algorithm has just alerted me of a positive ID on his location."

Bruce's eyes widened at the unexpected statement, but even more so at the sudden change that came over Tony. His back straightened and he looked toward the nearest wall. "Wait, did you just say... Is he... Details, FRIDAY." 

"Yes, sir. Dr. Banner's current status is living and his last known location is New York."

"Living." The word escaped Tony's lips in a very audible sigh of relief and Bruce felt his chest tighten warmly. "New York?"

"It must not be a very good algorithm if I had to show up at your doorstep before it could find me." 

Tony nearly jumped in his seat and his head jerked around. Bruce tried not to laugh, as he moved to stand in the kitchen, because laughing probably wouldn't be the appropriate response at the moment.

"Yeah, well, you're one hell of a tricky man to find, Bruce," Tony responded, his eyes not for one second losing their wide eyed hold on him. He looked at him as though he might be a phantom. 

"So, you were trying to find me..." Bruce began uncertainly. He should have known Tony would look for him and yet he hadn't considered it. "And if you had found me sooner?"

"I would have had the best damn night's sleep I've had in months," Tony answered and Bruce felt his face quirk in slight puzzlement. "I wasn't going to chase you down and try to drag you back if that's what you're asking. I wasn't even going to let the others know in case they got any ideas. God, Bruce, I just needed to know you were alive." Tony's face was wrenched with genuine emotion that Bruce could barely handle. "That's all that mattered. You made your call, but I needed to at least know you were safe. I would have only intervened if you absolutely needed me."

Bruce felt any trepidation he had melt away. This was the right decision. Things left unsaid needed to be said. Apologies needed to be made. Fear needed to be forgotten.

"I do need you," he all but blurted. Well, that could have gone a little smoother. Tony's eyes widened further and he hurried to say those things he had planned on saying. "I need you to understand why I left the way I did. I need to explain to you before I explain it to the others, Tony. Because you come first. You've always come first. I don't want to be an Avenger anymore," he said with a firm shake of his head.

"I already understood that part," Tony ventured in an uneasy tone.

"Okay, good. I'm just saying even though I'm here right now, that hasn't changed. So I need you to understand why I can't really stay. But I also need you to understand that this isn't goodbye unless you want it to be." Tony opened his mouth to respond, but Bruce pressed on before he could. "Because I'm not running anymore, Tony unless I have absolutely no other choice. General Ross is still an annoying bastard after all. But I'm not running and I'm not rolling over. Not for The Avengers, not for Ross, and definitely not for Natasha. I almost made a terrible mistake because I was so afraid of..." Bruce paused and bit his tongue slightly, looking down at nothing in particular. "I was so afraid of never getting what I really want and thought maybe I could at least get something. So now I'm going to have to tell Natasha the truth and hope she understands."

"That's a slightly terrifying notion," Tony said, quirking one side of his face upward.

"Yeah, it is. But I'm done being a coward."

"You're not a coward, Bruce," Tony interjected with a hard sigh and Bruce wasn't certain how to react. He tried to ignore the haunting echo of the Tony from his nightmare. "Look, the things I said that day... I was an idiot. I don't know who I was back then. I was scared of how uncertain everything was. I was scared of getting too close to the team. I was scared of the whole team dying. I was scared of hurting Pepper so I kept stalling the break-up that seemed inevitable. I was scared of being vulnerable, of not being enough without the arc reactor. I was scared of..." Tony's voice trailed suspiciously and ended with another sigh. "If anyone was a coward, Bruce, it was me. You were trying your hardest and I was treating you just like you said I was."

"We're probably both more than a little messed up, Tony," Bruce countered, settling for a happy medium between their confessions of inadequacy. "But I also decided to come back because I need you to let me apologize for that day. Truly apologize. The whole beast on a leash thing was on me. I was just looking for an excuse to cope with my fears. If I could pin something on you, it would just make it easier for me to justify whatever it was I wasn't dealing with. I didn't deserve you, Tony. You just wanted to help me and I was the one acting like a dog biting the hand, you know? I was the one projecting that. And the whole Pepper thing. I sincerely wish I could take it back because no matter what I might have thought, you deserved better from me as your friend."

Bruce watched as Tony stood to his feet and leaned against one of the chairs. "Are you done with your little self-deprecation speech?" Bruce furrowed his brow. "Because let's get one thing straight right now. I never want to hear you say you don't deserve me again. Ever. Think it if you want to, tell others, tell yourself in the shower, I don't care. But if you ever tell me that you don't deserve me again, I will probably spontaneously combust. Got it? In fact, I think it's fairly safe to say that I'm the one who doesn't really deserve you. But I'm also kind of hoping you don't want to hear that either. As for Pepper, sure, the malice wasn't exactly appreciated, but people say stupid things when they're angry so I'm over it. No need to rehash it. Maybe it was even the push I needed to face facts and man up about it. In case you're wondering, Pepper was even relieved when I finally did because she had been so afraid of hurting me. So she'd probably send her thanks if she knew you had something to do with it... Well, other than your other involvement in the matter. She apparently had already suspected that."

"Wait..." Bruce scrunched his face, considering all that Tony had just said. "You and Pepper..."

"Over. You shouldn't really be that surprised."

"I'm not... I mean... I am. I thought you two would patch things up and..." Bruce flinched, recalling the vision he'd seen with sudden clarity. "I guess I thought you'd live happily ever after or something, I don't know." He shrugged a shoulder.

Tony looked as though he was studying him and Bruce tried not to be too much of an open book, but that was nearly impossible when it came to Tony.

"That seems a bit sentimental for you, Doctor."

"Nah, it's not really," Bruce admitted. He looked down slightly. "I used to... Uh, I used to even dream about having two beautiful kids when I was with Betty. Two clever, beautiful kids. A boy and a girl. And the four of us happy. It could be because my childhood was so terrible and I wanted to believe it could get better, but believing in happily ever after is just the tip of the iceberg. I just... Lost sight of all that after the accident. I thought the Other Guy had shattered the illusion, but turns out it just got a little buried." 

"I'm glad to hear that," Tony said with a genuine smile as he straightened and moved a few steps closer. "Because the whole 'I don't always get what I want' shtick is mildly frustrating. You deserve all of the things you want, Bruce."

"That might depend," Bruce replied with another shrug as he looked at Tony again. "Some things are probably better off left alone. No use wanting kids I can't have."

"Are you anti-adoption?" Tony's question took him off guard. "I didn't peg you to be anti-adoption, Doctor."

Bruce snorted, relishing in the snarky banter he had so long missed, the banter that had faded slightly when the tension had begun building again.

"Right. Adoption. Because I'm sure 'has tendency to turn into a giant, green, rage monster' does wonders for the application process."

"Everyone knows the application process is a moot point if you're rich enough or a celebrity," Tony countered and took yet another step closer.

"I'm not rich," Bruce pointed out while trying to maintain his composure. "And I'm definitely not a celebrity."

"I'm both."

"I believe adopting a kid on behalf of someone else is considered illegal."

Tony shrugged nonchalantly. There was now less than a foot of space between them. "So we adopt together."

Bruce swallowed hard against his drying throat. "Do you even want kids?" He raised an eyebrow curiously.

"I want whatever you want." Tony nodded his head towards him and Bruce's breathing grew shallow. This was actually happening? "So the question is, is that what you want?"

Was it what he wanted? Yes? Maybe? Eventually? He had come back because he wanted to make things right. He had come back because he wanted to stop being a coward. He had come back because he wanted...

"I want _you._ " Before he had time to breathe out any tension from the confession, Tony's lips were pressed needily against his own.

There was three year's worth of need between them. They had both wanted this nearly from the start and would have understood that sooner if only they hadn't been too distracted or too busy denying their suspicions. Why had they waited so long to figure this out again? The question was forgotten almost immediately as their tongues met, deepening the kiss so that coherence began to fade.

Okay, so they had taken the long way to this moment, but maybe that was the only way for two semi-broken people like them. The only thing that really mattered now was this want, this kiss, and the very real possibility that this could be his life. Maybe this was always meant to be his life. That thought melded into the kiss and overwhelmed his senses completely. He felt his heart rate jump into the dangerzone.

"Tony!" He pulled away with a gasp, his mind cursing the reminder of why he couldn't have things he wanted.

"Hey," Tony intervened immediately, seeming to understand his sudden fear, "they're not even remotely close to green." 

Bruce scrunched his face at this. "They're not?" He was breathing heavily, his heart rate was still precariously high, but he suddenly realized there was no immediate danger. There were no blaring sirens. There wasn't even the hint of a growl. He let out a shaky breath and couldn't fight the small, delighted laugh that followed.

Regaining his composure, he met Tony's waiting gaze. "So... You and me?" For some reason, he felt the question still needed to be asked.

"Yes. Definite yes." Tony nodded, a broad smile spreading across his face. "You and me. Sorry it took so long."

Bruce smiled at Tony's straightforward answer, a million thoughts running through his mind, but then his eyes fell on the nearby bowl of blueberries. Before he could squash the impulse, he reached out and grabbed the bowl and held it in front of Tony in a gesture that implied he was rewarding him for his behavior. Tony understood and jokingly held out his hand in question before taking a blueberry. Bruce watched him quickly shuffle the blueberry into his mouth and returned the bowl to the tabletop. 

"So does this make me  _your_ pet now?" Tony asked with perhaps a little too much eagerness in Bruce's opinion. "A man's best friend? Your faithful companion? Because my 'Fido' routine is pretty flawless if you wanna see. I can pant, bark, howl-"

"Tony," Bruce interrupted in mock annoyance. "Shut up." Tony closed his mouth obediently and Bruce smiled thinly, amused. "Good boy," he added, teasingly, and before Tony could open his mouth again to retort, Bruce captured his lips for a much more effective form of positive reinforcement. 


End file.
